n. Ability to view things in just proportion.
adj. in just relationship, with the important and the unimportant things in their proper places.
(according to Webster's universal English dictionary)
Of late my life seems to be one lesson in perspective after another. Just when I begin to feel as though I can't handle one more thing or one more person coming and telling me about something that's gone awry in their lives, I find myself sitting down again and reaching for the wisdom of Psalms or Proverbs to try and make some sense of it all. Funny thing is, I have failed miserably to do so, well not to find wisdom in the scriptures per se, but rather in the carrying out of them. I have had to stop and remind myself to take inventory of the last year and just look at all the things I and my friends have endured and realize that through all of them, God never failed me or them. Just when we felt like we couldn't bear another second, something happened that caused us to realize that indeed we could with God's help.
For myself personally, this year started off with a bang for the bad with some deep hurt carved into me by someone I love very much. This coupled with the already strained emotions of being stretched spiritually to a place I honestly did not expect to be before I was sixty made life difficult. One wound scabbed over while another was created. Still enduring the spiritual stretch I had to watch a dear, dear friend finally have ultimate healing from her disease but leave behind a spouse and child with a million questions and emotions about the entire process. To this day I miss her hugs and quirky faces and humor. (there is a blog post about her earlier this year) The middle and latter parts of the year have seen pains creep in from more deaths of loved ones and friends, to the family chaos created by one desperate soul. This year I have watched my family mourn the loss of my grandfather (also a blog post), endure the trials of moving my grandmother to assisted living and try and pick up the pieces left behind. I have seen my friends endure deaths of loved ones, major health problems or health scares, near death health for a few, talk of cancer more than a few times, marriages that are falling or have fallen apart, children turning away from God and any host of other catastrophes, but through it all, there is always a positive just like I mentioned in my last post.
In spite of the hurts and pains, there are celebrations. Celebrations of a spiritual battle complete, of new life in this world and in Christ, of health restored, of a bond created that can not be broken by man, of weddings, new jobs, engagements, home purchases, debt paid off, and on and on. I have seen some of the best and worst in people over the past year, and can look back with a true perspective(n) of life. Challenges will always come, but they will always go as well. So as someone asks me every day and I answer honestly, yesterday in my head was a mostly sunny/partly cloudy kind of day. Tomorrow? Who knows, but I accept it no matter because I know in the end, the sun will be shining.
12.15.2010
11.24.2010
Threes
You know how they say 'bad things come in threes?' I've come to know that this is true, but also that good things tend to come in sixes. With Thanksgiving being tomorrow it is only fitting to focus on the things we're thankful for, but also for us to realize that we should be focused on them most of the time and as much as is possible ignore the bad things. There have been and always will be plenty of bad things to go around, but below I'm going to list a few things that just recently have been good things going on in my life.
1. Straight A's in school this semester
2. The privilege to be able to come to God even when I do not have any words good enough to express myself.
3. Opportunity to attend a phenomenal youth leader's conference
4. A completely remodeled house that we now live in!
5. Friends who love me and lift me up in prayer and in spirit
6. Health
7, The Family ('nuf said)
8. Music
9. A workplace that loves Jesus
10. Being able to travel freely around the country
11. Growing deeper this year spiritually
12. All the unexpected blessings that have come and covered a need just when I knew that without a miracle it wouldn't happen.
This is a small list but it's a heartfelt one. If you sat and wrote a list of things that you are thankful for or that are sincerely good things in your life, what would some of them be?
1. Straight A's in school this semester
2. The privilege to be able to come to God even when I do not have any words good enough to express myself.
3. Opportunity to attend a phenomenal youth leader's conference
4. A completely remodeled house that we now live in!
5. Friends who love me and lift me up in prayer and in spirit
6. Health
7, The Family ('nuf said)
8. Music
9. A workplace that loves Jesus
10. Being able to travel freely around the country
11. Growing deeper this year spiritually
12. All the unexpected blessings that have come and covered a need just when I knew that without a miracle it wouldn't happen.
This is a small list but it's a heartfelt one. If you sat and wrote a list of things that you are thankful for or that are sincerely good things in your life, what would some of them be?
11.11.2010
The harder I laugh, the deeper I hurt
Lately I have been reminded of some memories that are extremely hurtful ones to have and yet through that I'm able to see how far I have come with God's help. I learned this week that someone who used to be in my inner circle of friends lost her only son to suicide. This is a pain that I wish I could say I have never known, but many of you know that in reality this is a pain that is all too real for me. Needless to say, I was torn about what to tell someone a. who's going through that and b. who practically hates you because you don't agree with their beliefs. Thankfully after conversing with someone neutral and praying about it, I was able to tell her sincerely that I'm praying for her and the rest of her family, this however has caused me be reminded how much of an emotional people we are.
I find myself at the end of an emotional rope that I desperately try not to get to, and yet can't seem to avoid. Circumstances outside of my control are difficult and if I looked at them in my humanity I would say they could be impossible, but I am seeing them instead through the viewpoint of a Christ-follower knowing that anything is possible. The difficulty seems to be that I'm the only one who's doing that all the time and to be frank, that gets really old. I have done everything I know to be proactive about the situation even to the point of picking up an on-call 2nd job. Everyone tells me I am crazy for trying to balance my full-time job, school work, church work, and now a 2nd job, but sometimes you just have to do what you just have to do and make it work. Until something changes, I have no other choice that I can see, so I proceed. In my mind I know that this too shall pass and that it is a means to an end, but if I am honest with myself it makes me sick that I even have to contemplate a 2nd job, let alone actually have one. Don't hear me wrong here, I'm not being bitter or angry at all, it just is a fact currently in my life and I'm still attempting to adjust to it. Add to that the stresses of normal life and the drama of dealing with an emotional roller coaster living with me many days and I am tired. My mind is tired of listening to constant reasons why everything is wrong, you know the mind can only handle negativity so long before it will shut down. I think what pains me most is that there are three or four days forward and good and then there are two weeks backward and extremely low and negative. This too is apparently a part of my life except that I refuse to adapt to it. It can be better and I know it can be better and because of this knowledge, I demand and expect it to be better. We are constantly changing and being stretched in so many areas of our lives so that we are better people, how dare we expect any less of one another than the best we have to give? Granted we all have things going on that will cause us to have bad days, or weeks periodically, but there comes a point in life when we all stand up and decide that the things will no longer control our minds. We have the power through Jesus to be able to rest easy and know that no matter what is going on we will be taken care of.
So why the title you may ask? Simple. Sometime in the not to distant past this was true of my day to day life. Last night while at dinner with friends we were laughing so hard our stomach's hurt and we were crying because we were having a good time. Somewhere during that evening, I remembered this phrase and how just a few years ago there would have been still a pain under the laughter. Am I saying that there is none now? No way! Didn't you just read above? ☺ There is still plenty of pain and hurt readily available to anyone willing to see it, but at the same time, there is just as much joy and freedom if we choose instead to seek that out.
I find myself at the end of an emotional rope that I desperately try not to get to, and yet can't seem to avoid. Circumstances outside of my control are difficult and if I looked at them in my humanity I would say they could be impossible, but I am seeing them instead through the viewpoint of a Christ-follower knowing that anything is possible. The difficulty seems to be that I'm the only one who's doing that all the time and to be frank, that gets really old. I have done everything I know to be proactive about the situation even to the point of picking up an on-call 2nd job. Everyone tells me I am crazy for trying to balance my full-time job, school work, church work, and now a 2nd job, but sometimes you just have to do what you just have to do and make it work. Until something changes, I have no other choice that I can see, so I proceed. In my mind I know that this too shall pass and that it is a means to an end, but if I am honest with myself it makes me sick that I even have to contemplate a 2nd job, let alone actually have one. Don't hear me wrong here, I'm not being bitter or angry at all, it just is a fact currently in my life and I'm still attempting to adjust to it. Add to that the stresses of normal life and the drama of dealing with an emotional roller coaster living with me many days and I am tired. My mind is tired of listening to constant reasons why everything is wrong, you know the mind can only handle negativity so long before it will shut down. I think what pains me most is that there are three or four days forward and good and then there are two weeks backward and extremely low and negative. This too is apparently a part of my life except that I refuse to adapt to it. It can be better and I know it can be better and because of this knowledge, I demand and expect it to be better. We are constantly changing and being stretched in so many areas of our lives so that we are better people, how dare we expect any less of one another than the best we have to give? Granted we all have things going on that will cause us to have bad days, or weeks periodically, but there comes a point in life when we all stand up and decide that the things will no longer control our minds. We have the power through Jesus to be able to rest easy and know that no matter what is going on we will be taken care of.
So why the title you may ask? Simple. Sometime in the not to distant past this was true of my day to day life. Last night while at dinner with friends we were laughing so hard our stomach's hurt and we were crying because we were having a good time. Somewhere during that evening, I remembered this phrase and how just a few years ago there would have been still a pain under the laughter. Am I saying that there is none now? No way! Didn't you just read above? ☺ There is still plenty of pain and hurt readily available to anyone willing to see it, but at the same time, there is just as much joy and freedom if we choose instead to seek that out.
10.20.2010
Contentment
I've been a bad blogger and neglected you all far too long. There are a lot of things that I have in mind to blog about so I will hopefully be posting fairly regularly until they are all common knowledge.
This year as most of you know has been a hell on earth for myself compared to the majority of all my other years. I do not regret it, nor in hindsight would I do it differently, it has been a learning experience and a period of tremendous stretching in my personal life. I could say that all of it began last September-October when a friend was rendered speechless for a period of time and I began praying for healing and comfort in the meantime. That later culminated into the dream I posted about in March. During that time in between, I prayed for her daily along with all the rest of the people and issues I pray for and I felt a near constancy to continue that. After the dream, it was constant and came to a point of literal physical pain on my part when I prayed for her. I've prayed in earnest before for people, but never had an experience quite like this. I communicated with her during this time minimally and restrained from telling her about the details of the dream other than that I was praying for her like never before. Sometime in the late spring she sent an email asking for prayers for an attack she was experiencing and this told my head what my heart had known for months but wasn't sure how to verbalize. I did tell her face to face the majority of the dream in the mid summer and she received it well and told me some about what had been going on during the months. I was not at all surprised to learn what she was telling me and it only solidified my thankfulness to God for pushing me to grow and for me being open to do so. This attack ended and the project saw fruition on my birthday this year and I told her that was the best birthday present I could have ever gotten! Through all of this and the purchasing and remodeling of the house and my going back to school and other family issues that have arisen, it has been a YEAR.
Through all of this growing and stretching I have realized that I spent at least the last year content in my spiritual life all the while thinking I was exactly where I was supposed to be and that God and I were doing good in our relationship. I'm here to tell you now that this is completely amazing to me how ignorant I was! As a result of this now I find myself a a place where the people I have around me are not always on the same page as I am spiritually. Do not misinterpret, I am certainly not better than any of them nor am I holier than thou at any of them. I have however spiritually matured to a new, deeper level and I feel wonderful about that and about where my life in Christ is going, but am burdened now for the people I see who are exactly where I was a year ago. I want so badly to be able to share and tell them that they are comfortable, but I know that just as it would have only upset me a year ago, it is not wise to do so and therefore I leave it be where it is.
Suffice it to say that I am now more in love with God than ever and that I want so badly for the people around me to join me here and experience what I am experiencing even with the pain.
This year as most of you know has been a hell on earth for myself compared to the majority of all my other years. I do not regret it, nor in hindsight would I do it differently, it has been a learning experience and a period of tremendous stretching in my personal life. I could say that all of it began last September-October when a friend was rendered speechless for a period of time and I began praying for healing and comfort in the meantime. That later culminated into the dream I posted about in March. During that time in between, I prayed for her daily along with all the rest of the people and issues I pray for and I felt a near constancy to continue that. After the dream, it was constant and came to a point of literal physical pain on my part when I prayed for her. I've prayed in earnest before for people, but never had an experience quite like this. I communicated with her during this time minimally and restrained from telling her about the details of the dream other than that I was praying for her like never before. Sometime in the late spring she sent an email asking for prayers for an attack she was experiencing and this told my head what my heart had known for months but wasn't sure how to verbalize. I did tell her face to face the majority of the dream in the mid summer and she received it well and told me some about what had been going on during the months. I was not at all surprised to learn what she was telling me and it only solidified my thankfulness to God for pushing me to grow and for me being open to do so. This attack ended and the project saw fruition on my birthday this year and I told her that was the best birthday present I could have ever gotten! Through all of this and the purchasing and remodeling of the house and my going back to school and other family issues that have arisen, it has been a YEAR.
Through all of this growing and stretching I have realized that I spent at least the last year content in my spiritual life all the while thinking I was exactly where I was supposed to be and that God and I were doing good in our relationship. I'm here to tell you now that this is completely amazing to me how ignorant I was! As a result of this now I find myself a a place where the people I have around me are not always on the same page as I am spiritually. Do not misinterpret, I am certainly not better than any of them nor am I holier than thou at any of them. I have however spiritually matured to a new, deeper level and I feel wonderful about that and about where my life in Christ is going, but am burdened now for the people I see who are exactly where I was a year ago. I want so badly to be able to share and tell them that they are comfortable, but I know that just as it would have only upset me a year ago, it is not wise to do so and therefore I leave it be where it is.
Suffice it to say that I am now more in love with God than ever and that I want so badly for the people around me to join me here and experience what I am experiencing even with the pain.
7.22.2010
No regrets
Originally this blog was to be about Agape love, but that will be saved for another time.
My family heard just a little while ago that my grandfather, my mother's father, passed away this morning. He lived 90 years and accomplished so many things that I'm not sure I could accomplish half of them if I live to be 190. But he leaves behind multitude of family who love him and will miss him dearly. I can sit here and write this through tears all while smiling because I know that he is now with Jesus and rejoicing, and because I know that he would want me to carry on. Don't lose faith he'd say, and he's so right.
I love that I have so many memories with him throughout my life, and will treasure them now even more than I already did. From teaching me to play ping-pong while I stood on milk crates so I could see over the table, to watching him do his devotions every day and know that he had the Bible memorized ten times over, to listening to him tell stories about his life and his childhood, and courting my grandmother, and then being utterly confused when he tried to help me with Algebra homework. Through all these and dozens of other memories, I always knew that he would drop anything to help any of us accomplish something, and that he would spend hours teaching us lessons that you can't learn in a classroom. The value of hard work, honesty, faith, family, and friendship among others. I can say without a shred of doubt that I have no regrets for the time I've had with him, even the times when I know I let him down and disappointed him because he was always ready to reach out and pull me close and assure me that even though I may have hurt him, there is a lesson to be learned here and when he got finished talking, I wouldn't even remember that I had hurt him. So for now, this is my ode to him, the man who showed me what it truly means to live as Christ in us and to see the good in people.
My family heard just a little while ago that my grandfather, my mother's father, passed away this morning. He lived 90 years and accomplished so many things that I'm not sure I could accomplish half of them if I live to be 190. But he leaves behind multitude of family who love him and will miss him dearly. I can sit here and write this through tears all while smiling because I know that he is now with Jesus and rejoicing, and because I know that he would want me to carry on. Don't lose faith he'd say, and he's so right.
I love that I have so many memories with him throughout my life, and will treasure them now even more than I already did. From teaching me to play ping-pong while I stood on milk crates so I could see over the table, to watching him do his devotions every day and know that he had the Bible memorized ten times over, to listening to him tell stories about his life and his childhood, and courting my grandmother, and then being utterly confused when he tried to help me with Algebra homework. Through all these and dozens of other memories, I always knew that he would drop anything to help any of us accomplish something, and that he would spend hours teaching us lessons that you can't learn in a classroom. The value of hard work, honesty, faith, family, and friendship among others. I can say without a shred of doubt that I have no regrets for the time I've had with him, even the times when I know I let him down and disappointed him because he was always ready to reach out and pull me close and assure me that even though I may have hurt him, there is a lesson to be learned here and when he got finished talking, I wouldn't even remember that I had hurt him. So for now, this is my ode to him, the man who showed me what it truly means to live as Christ in us and to see the good in people.
6.25.2010
Things that make me smile
I needed to remind myself of these simple things that make me smile today. You get to observe. ☺
1. A bunch of daisies
2. Traveling
3. Babies laughing
4. Puppies
5. Seeing my friends happy
6. Feeling the sun warm my skin
7. Being still in the woods and just listening
8. Watching college football
9. Kittens playing
10. Riding the motorcycle
11. Spending time with friends and family
12. Feeling sand between my toes
13. Walking in crystal clear, spring fed creek water
1. A bunch of daisies
2. Traveling
3. Babies laughing
4. Puppies
5. Seeing my friends happy
6. Feeling the sun warm my skin
7. Being still in the woods and just listening
8. Watching college football
9. Kittens playing
10. Riding the motorcycle
11. Spending time with friends and family
12. Feeling sand between my toes
13. Walking in crystal clear, spring fed creek water
6.08.2010
Stop and smell the roses
Do you ever wonder how many people around you have never taken the time to 'stop and smell the roses'? I do not mean literally be going along and see some roses (or daisies in my case) and just stop; although I have been guilty of doing so when I'm at the store; but I mean figuratively stopping to notice what is around us. There is good around us still if we will simply take the time to notice it. My most recent experience with this is watching everyone who volunteered to help complete strangers during the flooding, never asking anything in return. I wish the media would have spent half as much time showing these people as they did telling us about how people were looting and trying to take advantage of the people who have lost everything. C'est la vie'- this is the world we find ourselves in.
Where did all this come from? Simple: this past week was Annual Family Camp for our church denomination at our campgrounds about an hour outside of Nashville, nestled in a little valley with a crystal clear creek, and so much nature around you that it becomes a part of you. I had the privilege of hearing a good speaker deliver God-inspired messages that stirred my relationship to go even deeper with Christ. I also had the luxury of clear skies at night where you can see more stars than you thought existed, and then the best fireworks show ever with the lightning bugs flickering all over the open fields. It's one of those places where you can sit and soak in the beauty around you and marvel once again at how awesome God is to have created all of these things, and then to have placed us where we can experience them, it's almost like God speaks in the breeze that blows there.
It reminded me that our media of late has been airing commercials that talk about Random Acts of Kindness, and Paying it Forward, these are not new things at all, but if you have a true relationship with Christ, you are already doing these things. It's about showing the world around us that there is still good around and that they too can have it for themselves and it will become infectious and spread to everyone they come into contact with. Let's see how many of us can infect someone with good today.
Where did all this come from? Simple: this past week was Annual Family Camp for our church denomination at our campgrounds about an hour outside of Nashville, nestled in a little valley with a crystal clear creek, and so much nature around you that it becomes a part of you. I had the privilege of hearing a good speaker deliver God-inspired messages that stirred my relationship to go even deeper with Christ. I also had the luxury of clear skies at night where you can see more stars than you thought existed, and then the best fireworks show ever with the lightning bugs flickering all over the open fields. It's one of those places where you can sit and soak in the beauty around you and marvel once again at how awesome God is to have created all of these things, and then to have placed us where we can experience them, it's almost like God speaks in the breeze that blows there.
It reminded me that our media of late has been airing commercials that talk about Random Acts of Kindness, and Paying it Forward, these are not new things at all, but if you have a true relationship with Christ, you are already doing these things. It's about showing the world around us that there is still good around and that they too can have it for themselves and it will become infectious and spread to everyone they come into contact with. Let's see how many of us can infect someone with good today.
5.07.2010
Too many things in my mind
I want to take a moment to purge out some things that are in and on my mind lately. The goal here is to get them out of my head so hopefully I can get accomplished the ones that need be and so that the ones that are mere ramblings will get out. For fun I'll do them as a list.
1. Why am I at work when there are people down the road from me who have lost everything and just need someone to listen to them tell their story and love them.
2. What happened to my 'break' between school classes and why must I read the entire text cover to cover in two weeks?
3. Why are some people so inclined to feel compelled to behave how they think the person on the other side of the room expects them to?
4. Why do we expect anything out of anyone?
5. I love the people around me who are 'real' and who see through me.
6. When will I be able to take a normal shower or bath again instead of an intermittent water one?
7. What part of conserve water did so many people miss?
8. Is it against the law for me to approach and ask the man watering his lawn if it didn't get enough water last weekend with the 13+" of rain we had?
9. Grocery shop
10. Find somewhere to stay during orientation in June.
11. Breathe.
Okay so that's enough for lists for now. I want to proclaim loudly that I am proud of myself for surviving yesterday without a tear. That is a God thing! I marked 13 years yesterday since my life forever changed. I lost a piece of me that I will never be able to have back and have oftentimes thought about her and what she would be doing now. Do not pity me, I don't want it. I type this with a smile on my face because I remember all the fun we had and all the trouble we caused in our 15 years, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. If I had the chance to do any of it over I'd spend even less time disagreeing with her, but still wouldn't cave and just let her have her way all the time. So, self, I'm proud of you!!!!
Switching gears:
Life is too short to spend it angry or trying to change someone. Our devotion leader this week for work said the coolest thing this morning that immediately made me think of that old DC Talk song, Luv is a verb. He said, "Love is a choice to act in spite of our feelings." I know some of you remember the song I'm talking about here. But he's right, just like I've said before to people, none of us has to have one another in our lives, we choose to allow people to be a part and share our lives because we love them, and even when they may hurt us or make us angry we still love them. All of that to say, go and find someone to love that maybe you haven't given the chance.
1. Why am I at work when there are people down the road from me who have lost everything and just need someone to listen to them tell their story and love them.
2. What happened to my 'break' between school classes and why must I read the entire text cover to cover in two weeks?
3. Why are some people so inclined to feel compelled to behave how they think the person on the other side of the room expects them to?
4. Why do we expect anything out of anyone?
5. I love the people around me who are 'real' and who see through me.
6. When will I be able to take a normal shower or bath again instead of an intermittent water one?
7. What part of conserve water did so many people miss?
8. Is it against the law for me to approach and ask the man watering his lawn if it didn't get enough water last weekend with the 13+" of rain we had?
9. Grocery shop
10. Find somewhere to stay during orientation in June.
11. Breathe.
Okay so that's enough for lists for now. I want to proclaim loudly that I am proud of myself for surviving yesterday without a tear. That is a God thing! I marked 13 years yesterday since my life forever changed. I lost a piece of me that I will never be able to have back and have oftentimes thought about her and what she would be doing now. Do not pity me, I don't want it. I type this with a smile on my face because I remember all the fun we had and all the trouble we caused in our 15 years, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. If I had the chance to do any of it over I'd spend even less time disagreeing with her, but still wouldn't cave and just let her have her way all the time. So, self, I'm proud of you!!!!
Switching gears:
Life is too short to spend it angry or trying to change someone. Our devotion leader this week for work said the coolest thing this morning that immediately made me think of that old DC Talk song, Luv is a verb. He said, "Love is a choice to act in spite of our feelings." I know some of you remember the song I'm talking about here. But he's right, just like I've said before to people, none of us has to have one another in our lives, we choose to allow people to be a part and share our lives because we love them, and even when they may hurt us or make us angry we still love them. All of that to say, go and find someone to love that maybe you haven't given the chance.
5.06.2010
We will survive!!!
As many of you know our beloved Nashville and other parts of Tennessee are or have been over the last weekend, under water. Most of the national news media has been delayed in realizing the magnitude of our circumstances citing us as not being near a 'major' river or the coast. They are just now beginning to be on the ground here to see the devastation and the vastness of the cleanup to come. I am not complaining here, I'm stating a fact and let me follow it with a second, I'm glad they are here so that perhaps now we can begin to receive the help that will be so very needed.
I have some pictures posted here so you can see some areas that have been affected. I will tell you that having spent the better part of the weekend watching the news as the waters rose, and checking in on friends and family to be sure of their safety I was in awe of what was around me. As of yesterday our church Nashville Grace Church of the Nazarene became a distribution center for the local neighborhood behind it that was hit especially hard. We had people at the church all day yesterday organizing the family life center until it now looks like a smaller version of Wal-Mart. The children and teens spent the regular church time compiling 151 Crisis Care Kits as did some other local churches. We had a crew of people making more sack lunches and a second crew helping to pull up carpets and other furnishings that were damaged in our own building while still others gathered for to pray for the people who will be helping to clean up and the people who have lost so much while praising God for the protection that so many experienced. While all of this was going on at our campus, teams of others of us went on foot, sometimes wading, into that neighborhood last night to hand out bottled water and sack lunches to the residents that have been allowed back in and are now trying to cope with and clean up their loss. I was amazed time and again last night at people who turned us down saying things like "Thank you but I am okay, the people down the road need it more, please go help them." Then we found people who were brought to tears when we told them that the distribution center would be open to them providing anything they can need as well as meals (props to Quizno's, Papa Johns, Mc Donald's and many more) for at the minimum, a week and that if they need major things done such as tearing out drywall and removing carpets and flooring or just help carrying belongings out to the street's edge all they need to do is call the church office and leave their name and address because we have people who are just waiting to be told where to go to work. One woman told me that she can't believe there are people who would want to go into the mess and just get dirty. I told her, that's why we are the church. We want to help people in any way that they may need the help, and that our goal is to see them restored. She smiled and simply said, "Unbelievable." Other people said they were so overwhelmed they hadn't even thought about eating dinner, and others told us they couldn't believe the outpouring of people willing to help out.
For those of you who are statistically minded, here is how everything has ended up: The Cumberland River is in flood stage when the water reaches 40 feet. The record levels were set in 1929 at 56.2 feet. During the 2010 Nashville flooding, river levels were at 51.86 feet, indicating how horrific this really is. The death toll last I heard was 9 in Nashville with others in the counties around middle and west Tennessee. As of 12:30 yesterday the water levels were at 48.35 feet. There are still parts of the city that people have not been allowed back into their homes to even assess the damage. If you would like to help, there are plenty of ways you can pitch in. One is to give gift cards or pre-loaded visa cards so that people may use them to purchase rebuilding supplies, cleaning supplies, or food products as they need them. Another way is donate to one of the organizations heading up relief efforts, you can find a list of some of them here. And of course if you have the availability to do so, get in touch with one of the organizations above, or call a local church and see what they are doing and ask how to help them. In the meantime, I would ask that all of you continue to pray for Nashville. Pray for the volunteers as they will be working multiple jobs through this, pray for the victims and their families. Pray that we may be able to be Jesus to the people who are hurting during this time and that some of them will come to know Jesus for themselves.
I have some pictures posted here so you can see some areas that have been affected. I will tell you that having spent the better part of the weekend watching the news as the waters rose, and checking in on friends and family to be sure of their safety I was in awe of what was around me. As of yesterday our church Nashville Grace Church of the Nazarene became a distribution center for the local neighborhood behind it that was hit especially hard. We had people at the church all day yesterday organizing the family life center until it now looks like a smaller version of Wal-Mart. The children and teens spent the regular church time compiling 151 Crisis Care Kits as did some other local churches. We had a crew of people making more sack lunches and a second crew helping to pull up carpets and other furnishings that were damaged in our own building while still others gathered for to pray for the people who will be helping to clean up and the people who have lost so much while praising God for the protection that so many experienced. While all of this was going on at our campus, teams of others of us went on foot, sometimes wading, into that neighborhood last night to hand out bottled water and sack lunches to the residents that have been allowed back in and are now trying to cope with and clean up their loss. I was amazed time and again last night at people who turned us down saying things like "Thank you but I am okay, the people down the road need it more, please go help them." Then we found people who were brought to tears when we told them that the distribution center would be open to them providing anything they can need as well as meals (props to Quizno's, Papa Johns, Mc Donald's and many more) for at the minimum, a week and that if they need major things done such as tearing out drywall and removing carpets and flooring or just help carrying belongings out to the street's edge all they need to do is call the church office and leave their name and address because we have people who are just waiting to be told where to go to work. One woman told me that she can't believe there are people who would want to go into the mess and just get dirty. I told her, that's why we are the church. We want to help people in any way that they may need the help, and that our goal is to see them restored. She smiled and simply said, "Unbelievable." Other people said they were so overwhelmed they hadn't even thought about eating dinner, and others told us they couldn't believe the outpouring of people willing to help out.
For those of you who are statistically minded, here is how everything has ended up: The Cumberland River is in flood stage when the water reaches 40 feet. The record levels were set in 1929 at 56.2 feet. During the 2010 Nashville flooding, river levels were at 51.86 feet, indicating how horrific this really is. The death toll last I heard was 9 in Nashville with others in the counties around middle and west Tennessee. As of 12:30 yesterday the water levels were at 48.35 feet. There are still parts of the city that people have not been allowed back into their homes to even assess the damage. If you would like to help, there are plenty of ways you can pitch in. One is to give gift cards or pre-loaded visa cards so that people may use them to purchase rebuilding supplies, cleaning supplies, or food products as they need them. Another way is donate to one of the organizations heading up relief efforts, you can find a list of some of them here. And of course if you have the availability to do so, get in touch with one of the organizations above, or call a local church and see what they are doing and ask how to help them. In the meantime, I would ask that all of you continue to pray for Nashville. Pray for the volunteers as they will be working multiple jobs through this, pray for the victims and their families. Pray that we may be able to be Jesus to the people who are hurting during this time and that some of them will come to know Jesus for themselves.
4.14.2010
Spring brings new life and a collection of storms
It's no secret that my favorite time of year is summer; bring on the heat and humidity with the stuffiness of the air and the instant burn of the heat of the sun to the skin. But I have to admit that I have a healthy respect for the spring. I love watching all the plants and trees bursting back to life and hearing all the birds sing, and I must confess that I love a good thunderstorm. 
To relate this to my life lately would be almost funny. As you already know anyway, this spring has indeed been filled with life popping up everywhere and it is beautiful, but life has also had it's share of storms this spring.
The reality of life has once again reared it's head and reminded me of why I must be ever mindful of it's briefness. I have gotten to spend a lot of this season with a dear friend and her family while her time on Earth was shortening. There is a part of me that will forever miss her smile and funny faces and the pal I could share big words with and the best hugs I have ever gotten. None of you should feel left out here, you all give good hugs, but there is nothing else this side of Heaven like a 'Sarah hug'. This may seem to be all depressed and that is not my intent. For me, death is a part of life that
is altruistic. We are all simply passersby to one another, no one is guaranteed of anything including the very life we feel so deserving of. This is probably why I take it all in stride. I have the privilege of knowing that time apart is only temporary as long as we both know Jesus and that before too long we will get to be together again with the added benefit of it being in the presence of Jesus! 
All of that to say that yes, spring has it's storms that come in nature and in life, but more importantly spring brings forth new life that I am amazed at each year. 
I hope and pray that I never lose sight of just how amazing it is to be able to watch and see God's handiwork in action every year.
And I have to remember that there is always someone watching over me who loves me and only wants what is best for me and that sometimes that involves things that hurt me. But pain is never the intent, to learn to love more deeply is always the goal.
With each new day we have a fresh start. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion, ' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.' " Lamentations 3:22-24 3.25.2010
Some fun pictures of recent happenings....
Part of our 7.5" snow
Faith and Exercise
We've been house-hunting recently. (Those four words are powerful enough alone to be a post unto themselves) House-hunting is one of those occurrences in life that will cause you to look at everything from a new perspective. Thankfully we agree on what we're looking for and all the reasons around why, well almost all. Still a debate over hardwood flooring vs. carpet, but that is minimal. During this process I have been reminded that my faith must stay in God and only God, and am so thankful that I have it.
In a staff devotions recently the comment was made, "Our faith is stretched so that our relationship with Christ is strengthened." How very, very true that is. But of course because this is me, my brain had to take it further based on where I currently am. I thought about how we work and train our bodies so that they will be the best they can for us while we have them, and took that little comment and made it, "We grow strength in our faith by it being exercised. Just as we exercise our bodies in order to be stronger, so to our faith must be trained and stretched." Deep, I know, and rare for a thought that came early in the morning. ☺Based on our house-hunting experience thus far, that statement has rung true so often and I am reminded of it daily. There have been more than a few days recently where I was unsure if I could continue in this present situation without some sort of change, and times when I wanted nothing more than to get in my car and just drive somewhere far from here. I even had a friend to tell me that I am welcome to come there if I need to escape and clear my head! Thanks friend ☺♥
As God would have it during this season, I went to a retreat in Pigeon Forge and listened to Eunice Brubaker share her heart and some of her experiences with the ladies there. She hit Psalm 46 the first session and I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be for the next two days. It was there that I was reminded that no matter what situation I may find myself in, I am to be still and allow God to do His good work in and through me and if I will do that, that He promises to be my shelter and to never allow me to fear. Continue to pray for me, not just for house-hunting, that is merely a surface issue at the moment, but for me deeply. Without my friends and their love and prayer support, and a God who teaches me, I do not know what I would do.
3.02.2010
I'm not entirely sure what to title this and therefore I leave it blank. I just need to get this out of my head.
I sometimes wish that I could interpret my dreams the way that Daniel in the Bible could. I have some that are what I consider to be normal, in that they are dreams that anyone and possibly everyone has had or may have in their lifetime. These I don't wish to interpret because they are simply a subconscious outlet for what occurs during our conscious life. It's the dreams that I have that involve people I care about or know from somewhere in which an event takes place that is life altering or at the least life-inhibiting for a time. These are the ones that I wish I could interpret sometimes. Scary thing is they are usually correct and happen, that's even more terrifying than the dream itself.
Prime example: Sunday morning early, I was ripped from a paradisaical dream on the beach enjoying peace and solace into a location I have yet to meet in the real world (though it was vaguely familiar) where there were unidentifiable people milling around and one of my dear friends sitting over alone. In the dream I approach her and see that she is obviously upset and has been crying. So I sit down with her and inquire what's going on and she doesn't respond. She doesn't even acknowledge my presence until I go to move a piece of her hair out of her face. Then, true to her real world self, she grabs my hand and tells me not to mess with her hair. So again I ask her what's going on. Through tear-stained eyes she says, "I'm dyin' of booby cancer" (Bear in mind, this is exactly how she would put it if she were saying it in the real world. She's country).
That's it, that's all there was, no sooner had the words left her mouth in the dream than I bolted upright in bed and immediately began praying for her. I still don't know what to make of it, but I did send her an email to let her know that she was on my mind that morning and I prayed extra for her.
Today I have a peace about the whole thing that I didn't yesterday, but suffice it to say, I hope I am completely wrong on this one. I don't know that I can handle it if I'm not.
Whew, now my brain can rest and relax.
I sometimes wish that I could interpret my dreams the way that Daniel in the Bible could. I have some that are what I consider to be normal, in that they are dreams that anyone and possibly everyone has had or may have in their lifetime. These I don't wish to interpret because they are simply a subconscious outlet for what occurs during our conscious life. It's the dreams that I have that involve people I care about or know from somewhere in which an event takes place that is life altering or at the least life-inhibiting for a time. These are the ones that I wish I could interpret sometimes. Scary thing is they are usually correct and happen, that's even more terrifying than the dream itself.
Prime example: Sunday morning early, I was ripped from a paradisaical dream on the beach enjoying peace and solace into a location I have yet to meet in the real world (though it was vaguely familiar) where there were unidentifiable people milling around and one of my dear friends sitting over alone. In the dream I approach her and see that she is obviously upset and has been crying. So I sit down with her and inquire what's going on and she doesn't respond. She doesn't even acknowledge my presence until I go to move a piece of her hair out of her face. Then, true to her real world self, she grabs my hand and tells me not to mess with her hair. So again I ask her what's going on. Through tear-stained eyes she says, "I'm dyin' of booby cancer" (Bear in mind, this is exactly how she would put it if she were saying it in the real world. She's country).
That's it, that's all there was, no sooner had the words left her mouth in the dream than I bolted upright in bed and immediately began praying for her. I still don't know what to make of it, but I did send her an email to let her know that she was on my mind that morning and I prayed extra for her.
Today I have a peace about the whole thing that I didn't yesterday, but suffice it to say, I hope I am completely wrong on this one. I don't know that I can handle it if I'm not.
Whew, now my brain can rest and relax.
2.12.2010
Comfortable
I was talking the other morning with a new co-worker, and I posed the question 'How comfortable is comfortable?' Instantly I knew this would turn into a blog post if for no other reason than to ask the question.
I pondered awhile after she left truly how comfortable is comfortable? I told her that it amazes me how comfortable I really am in what I do and how much I love what I get to come to work to everyday, and that some part of me fears that comfortable-ness. It makes me wonder sometimes how many people are 'comfortable' with the things that they do when they should be uncomfortable because what they are doing is wrong whether morally or otherwise. In my case I am only wondering about myself because I don't ever want to get to a place where I am so comfortable in where I am that I miss where I should be. As long as I keep my eyes focused on God and am willing to move with His will when needed, I will always have some level of comfort, and in this I take solace.
I pondered awhile after she left truly how comfortable is comfortable? I told her that it amazes me how comfortable I really am in what I do and how much I love what I get to come to work to everyday, and that some part of me fears that comfortable-ness. It makes me wonder sometimes how many people are 'comfortable' with the things that they do when they should be uncomfortable because what they are doing is wrong whether morally or otherwise. In my case I am only wondering about myself because I don't ever want to get to a place where I am so comfortable in where I am that I miss where I should be. As long as I keep my eyes focused on God and am willing to move with His will when needed, I will always have some level of comfort, and in this I take solace.
2.05.2010
Power of a scent
Maybe this is corny, but I love the way brand new books and antique books smell. Yes, I'm blogging about what a book smells like, but I just love it. Today the boss asked me to compare a couple of companies via their catalogs, so I got not one but two new books' aroma to take in.
I know, I know, I'm strange and who really cares about how a book smells anyway? This isn't just about books. It amazes me how a simple smell can send a person on a journey through time and space. There are certain perfumes that my co-workers wear that makes me remember a particular event with someone special in my life. Then there are the comforting smells of familiar foods that are tied to a pleasant memory. Or what about the smell of fresh flowers, sunrise at the ocean (yes, it has a special smell) and morning dew in the spring time, or the smell of the grass just after a summer rain shower, and the smell of wood burning in fireplaces when it's cold outside? All of these and many more take me back to different events in life and make me smile. What smells do you remember that make you smile?
1.06.2010
PC soapbox: Disclaimer (don't read if you think you might get offended)
I am wondering if anyone other than myself has noticed how political correctness is actually code for robbing personal choice? It seems lately that every time we turn around there is something being said which is politically correct because we don't want to offend anyone. I think that sometimes people need offending. Don't read that wrong, I'm not saying go out and purposely offend various people groups, I am just saying that there are times when we need to stand up for what we believe in and in doing so there will be people who will inevitably be offended. But isn't that what America is about? We are all entitled to our opinions because they are just that, opinions. No one ever said that we have to agree with the person who might be next to us because we are afraid to hurt their feelings.
I think sometimes kids have it right with their brutal honesty and their lack of political correctness. We all need to remember that people are people and anything that occurs in life has the potential to wound them. We never know what someone has been through unless we ask them, but wait, is it politically correct to ask a person about their past?
You're probably wondering where in the world this thought came from today. It came from something I was filling out that questioned my ethnic background. They had listed as options: Caucasian, African American, Latin American or Hispanic, Asian or Pacific Islander, Indian, Middle Eastern, Native American, Multi Racial and other. It struck me funny with this list. Multi Racial? Seriously, are there that many people on Earth who are still 100% purely one race? I know that there are certain groups of people who are still pure, and that's phenomenal but for the majority of us we are Multi-Racial. We are mixed up of European, Native American and possibly for some of us even Hispanic, or Black. Or maybe here I should have said, 'people who have in their ancestry someone who was forcefully removed from the continent of Africa'. I don't mean that as a crack at black people, I have many friends who are black and I love them each. They add some spice to my life much like my friends who are Hispanic, and I thank God for all of them.
Alright enough of my soapbox.
As far as Christmas is concerned, we had a whirlwind trip lasting 10 days and spanning three states. I must say there was only a 24 hour period for myself that was regrettable, otherwise it was a wonderful trip. We got to spend time with James' immediate and extended family and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Then we were set to spend 7 days in the mountains of North Carolina with some friends so the boys could ski. Turned out to be a disaster and we left after 4 days and headed to South Carolina and enjoyed time with our friends at their house. I learned a new card game who's name now escapes me, and taught them Dutch Blitz. We did a whole lot of nothing but loved every second of it. Then we cut our return trip in half and stopped back at James' parents for a couple days to the drive home wouldn't be as long. From there we came back to reality and all that it brings. The pugs were left with good friends who I think were equally glad to see us because we were relieving them of 10 days of madness. Hopefully each of your Christmas holidays were enjoyable.
I think sometimes kids have it right with their brutal honesty and their lack of political correctness. We all need to remember that people are people and anything that occurs in life has the potential to wound them. We never know what someone has been through unless we ask them, but wait, is it politically correct to ask a person about their past?
You're probably wondering where in the world this thought came from today. It came from something I was filling out that questioned my ethnic background. They had listed as options: Caucasian, African American, Latin American or Hispanic, Asian or Pacific Islander, Indian, Middle Eastern, Native American, Multi Racial and other. It struck me funny with this list. Multi Racial? Seriously, are there that many people on Earth who are still 100% purely one race? I know that there are certain groups of people who are still pure, and that's phenomenal but for the majority of us we are Multi-Racial. We are mixed up of European, Native American and possibly for some of us even Hispanic, or Black. Or maybe here I should have said, 'people who have in their ancestry someone who was forcefully removed from the continent of Africa'. I don't mean that as a crack at black people, I have many friends who are black and I love them each. They add some spice to my life much like my friends who are Hispanic, and I thank God for all of them.
Alright enough of my soapbox.
As far as Christmas is concerned, we had a whirlwind trip lasting 10 days and spanning three states. I must say there was only a 24 hour period for myself that was regrettable, otherwise it was a wonderful trip. We got to spend time with James' immediate and extended family and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Then we were set to spend 7 days in the mountains of North Carolina with some friends so the boys could ski. Turned out to be a disaster and we left after 4 days and headed to South Carolina and enjoyed time with our friends at their house. I learned a new card game who's name now escapes me, and taught them Dutch Blitz. We did a whole lot of nothing but loved every second of it. Then we cut our return trip in half and stopped back at James' parents for a couple days to the drive home wouldn't be as long. From there we came back to reality and all that it brings. The pugs were left with good friends who I think were equally glad to see us because we were relieving them of 10 days of madness. Hopefully each of your Christmas holidays were enjoyable.
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