I've been a bad blogger and neglected you all far too long. There are a lot of things that I have in mind to blog about so I will hopefully be posting fairly regularly until they are all common knowledge.
This year as most of you know has been a hell on earth for myself compared to the majority of all my other years. I do not regret it, nor in hindsight would I do it differently, it has been a learning experience and a period of tremendous stretching in my personal life. I could say that all of it began last September-October when a friend was rendered speechless for a period of time and I began praying for healing and comfort in the meantime. That later culminated into the dream I posted about in March. During that time in between, I prayed for her daily along with all the rest of the people and issues I pray for and I felt a near constancy to continue that. After the dream, it was constant and came to a point of literal physical pain on my part when I prayed for her. I've prayed in earnest before for people, but never had an experience quite like this. I communicated with her during this time minimally and restrained from telling her about the details of the dream other than that I was praying for her like never before. Sometime in the late spring she sent an email asking for prayers for an attack she was experiencing and this told my head what my heart had known for months but wasn't sure how to verbalize. I did tell her face to face the majority of the dream in the mid summer and she received it well and told me some about what had been going on during the months. I was not at all surprised to learn what she was telling me and it only solidified my thankfulness to God for pushing me to grow and for me being open to do so. This attack ended and the project saw fruition on my birthday this year and I told her that was the best birthday present I could have ever gotten! Through all of this and the purchasing and remodeling of the house and my going back to school and other family issues that have arisen, it has been a YEAR.
Through all of this growing and stretching I have realized that I spent at least the last year content in my spiritual life all the while thinking I was exactly where I was supposed to be and that God and I were doing good in our relationship. I'm here to tell you now that this is completely amazing to me how ignorant I was! As a result of this now I find myself a a place where the people I have around me are not always on the same page as I am spiritually. Do not misinterpret, I am certainly not better than any of them nor am I holier than thou at any of them. I have however spiritually matured to a new, deeper level and I feel wonderful about that and about where my life in Christ is going, but am burdened now for the people I see who are exactly where I was a year ago. I want so badly to be able to share and tell them that they are comfortable, but I know that just as it would have only upset me a year ago, it is not wise to do so and therefore I leave it be where it is.
Suffice it to say that I am now more in love with God than ever and that I want so badly for the people around me to join me here and experience what I am experiencing even with the pain.
