Living examples?

I wrote this a few weeks ago and have toyed with if it should be posted or not. I still find it somewhat surreal that it happened but more than that I find it humbling. 

Today I find myself in a very unique place. Someone who had extremely limited knowledge of my life pre where I am now was and is taking every opportunity to witness to a co-worker. In their effort they mentioned me as an example that it is possible to be in a working environment that has every appearance of being hostile and remain a healthy Christ follower. While it made my heart swell that this person thought of me, I had to check some of the finer points for complete accuracy. I told this person that in my very core I could not abandon my faith just because my working environment made it challenging. So now they say their co-worker wants to hear my story about how that can be. 

Honestly, it's not something I have ever thought about; until today. Upon reflection my mind is teeming with examples of people throughout the Bible who did not abandon their faith. If anything their faith grew stronger. People like Moses and Aaron, Noah, Daniel, Nehemiah, Amos, Salmon, the remaining disciples after the deaths of Jesus and Judas, Paul, e.g. The list could go on. My point is that I realized that it has been when I'm in the most difficult places in life is where and when my faith stretches the most.

Recounting some of the experiences that lead to my realizing the growth, I would be lying if I said that I would enjoy doing them all again. And yet I think if I had the chance, I wouldn't change any of them. They may have cut me the deepest and taken the longest to heal, but the journey has been completely worth it. After all, life is all about the journeys we get to experience and people we get to meet on the way to our destination. Just so long as we keep our eyes on the destination and how we will bring others along with us. 

Sometimes you need a hug

How is it that one sentence can comfort and hurt so much simultaneously? Just the same, why does everyone either miss it completely when you're at your breaking point or freeze for lack of certainty how to respond when you're always the strong one?

I miss so terribly having people who get real with me around all the time. I miss the comraderie, the honesty...the love. They kept me honest. They made me better. They demanded the best in me to win over the bad. I need that in life. I don't want to remain stuck where I am, I want to do more, to be more. But at the same time I don't want to be discontent with where I am if I am here to grow and learn.

I find myself introspective today. What is it that keeps me where I am? A few solicited suggested are that my outspokenness, stubbornness and general sense of holding people as accountable as I expect to be are to blame. Maybe they are, but whether or not it's true I'm searching. I want to be the best me. Perhaps in my jaded view I convinced myself that I am doing a good job of picking my battles and style adjusting when in reality I'm failing miserably and no one told me. The saying goes when it rains it pours. 

So today I had my reminders or reality checks in spades. Today for many reasons was wonderful and it was hard for just as many. The one person who did notice can't do anything about it, not that they didn't offer. Just sometimes you need a hug. 

Reality in this moment...

Recently I found myself home alone and became completely enamored with a history documentary. I mean it was full on nerding out and I am not even a little ashamed, in fact quite the contrary. I loved it! It felt so wonderful to sit and learn about the history of people I had never learned much about, ask me sometime and I'll gladly tell you about it.
This particular evening was a postlude to some very trying days. In particular was the day that I realized that this

 has been 20 years true.
Not every day was a complete wash; I did have one in there where I willingly pushed myself through exhaustion to support one of the families headed to Africa next month from our church, and as a bonus got to see a friend unexpectedly, met some new peeps, and got sweet kisses from another dear friends' pup who was "on tour" with the new peeps while her owners were out of town. That was a delightful respite from the reality in this moment of life.
Too often of late my mind and body have seemed to be in an ever existing battle with my soul, and with themselves.  The struggle is very real and to admit that it's time for something to change is perhaps the most difficult part. I've been at war with myself and not wanted to admit its truth, but knowing all the while that I had to. Weeks recently have been ones of confusion it seems. I told some of the people closest to me where I am, have been, and know I need to head. They love me anyway and somehow through it all still see the good in me, it is inspiring.
During this season there have been days that were so dark I wasn't sure if I'd survive them and yet God always put at least one person in my path to shed light. I am forever grateful to their obedience even when they were unaware of it, maybe especially so. I'm reminded that there are always constants in life and that God is the epicenter of all of them. In spite of everything in these shadows my faith never waivered and if I'm truly transparent, has grown stronger as I feel myself being pulled into the chasm that is God's love and strength. I am reminded that God is my shield and defender and that means from everything, even my own thoughts if need be. So while this season is existing and will be a daily struggle to move beyond, I know I will succeed because God will go ahead of me and be right beside me the whole time. St. Patrick had it right so many years ago, "above and below me, before and behind me, in every eye that sees me Christ be all around me." How fitting for us to remember it still.

Faith and Comfort Zones

The question was posed about if we believe that walking by faith requires us to step out of our comfort zone. While I can see exactly why and how people are 100% believing this is true, I can't help but think that if we are truly seeking to live and walk according to God's will that our comfort zone will be where God tells us to go and what God tells us to do. Is it so far-fetched to believe that we could come to a place where we are so accustomed to knowing that everything that God directs is going to accomplish what He has intended for it, in spite of our decisions that may "mess" it up? 

Society absolutely believes that it's ludicrous to think so, but what do we say as the "church"? If we really stop and evaluate our belief do we think it's lunacy or do we realize that it's completely normal? If we are striving to live for God the best way we know how wouldn't it be second nature (inadvertent), just like breathing in and breathing out, for us to never really question when things occur in our lives and we realize (whether in the moment or after) that we moved in faith? 

What opportunities do we have to grow in our relationship with God before it becomes second nature and our comfort zone is simply following God?