Silence

Ever noticed how loud silence is? Silence is deafening. 

I don't just mean the type of silence that you experience when you are secluded, either. That is a special silence. I'm talking about the plethora of other variations silence comes in.

How about the silence when you are so engrossed in a good book that you don't hear anything around you? Or the silence that comes when you're lost in thought somewhere far from your actual location, especially in a memory.

Then there's the silence that we know from our friends when they are simply loving us and letting us have time with them. And the silence we feel when we've hurt or been hurt and are isolated whether by choice or not. 

These are real and tangible for certain, but suppose we take it up a notch.

Of late there has been ample opportunity for silence for my own perusal. The reasons for such may at some time be posted, but for now I must refrain. 

I've had moments of silence in recent days from everything around me at varying times. I've had silence from my doctors leaving decisions to me (I'm thankful, and annoyed at the same time). Silence from friends as they are providing me with support but space while I try to comprehend all that's been given. Silence from the big dawg as he lets me sort out my thoughts and feelings and come to some measure of understanding (and I love him all the more for it). I've had tidbits of silence from my other family while they let me talk it out trying to make sense. I had what felt like silence from God even a few times.

Then came the silence of peace. Peaceful silence is when you can be sitting in the middle of an arena and you hear nothing at all. No yelling, no music, no event sounds, only the sound of your own breathing in and out. This is the silence when I have affirmation that God wasn't silent, He was simply allowing me to come to Him in my own time and cry as a toddler who wants to be cuddled for safety. This silence is achieved when wearily I came, begged to be comforted, and was scooped up and simply held. Held for as long as I needed and without question or motive. 

Silence is deafening, and the loudest of all is peace.