Have you ever considered how foolish a people we are? Recently it's been more dominant in my mind than normal. There have been many things that could have brought this to reality, and who knows perhaps they all did in their own small ways.

For myself I have been forced to stop for a moment and reflect on our foolishness as well as our selfishness. We do not even stop for a mere moment in time to assess the people surrounding us. Or if we do, we do it so quickly and through smudge covered lenses that all we manage to see is the shell of the person or persons. Do we really ever stop and see the person? I can be accused of this just as quickly as I can make accusation. There are plenty of times in my history when I can say that I was guilty of simply looking at the outside of a person. We have been challenged at work the last few weeks to hand out one personal workers testament every week. This has caused me to notice all the people that on any other day I would have only passed by without a second glance. I find myself curious of their stories, I want to know for myself that I at least was obedient enough to leave a testament with that meal tip. Not simply to fulfill a challenge at work, but to have the knowledge that perhaps in some small way I have influenced them for the Kingdom.
How hard is this obedience thing? Not only in leaving a Bible or taking a moment to listen to the story of a stranger, but also in our lives with the people we are in closest proximity to daily. Are we not commanded by our God to love one another? Since we are, in fact, how is it possible then for any one of us to walk around as if we are immune to God's commands? Plain and simple--we aren't! Just as I said I have been guilty of doing this very thing. How many times have I just been feeling sorry for myself, or tired, or in a funk that I just plain didn't care about 'the least of these'?

This realization hits me hard and right where it hurts, because it needs to. But it has also caused my resolve to muster up again and be reminded that while I am human and will have days when I falter, there is no need for me to punish any others. As I've stated multiple times over, don't judge me and my life based on one interaction when you have no idea what path I'm currently trodding. Just the same, I have not, and never plan to judge you and yours. Believe me when I say that I have enough 'life' happening to me in my corner of the world that I certainly need not concern myself with how you are living and acting in yours. However, when one manages to cross the bridge and uninvited invade my own circumstances in a way that does not wish to help me better myself or uplift me when I'm on the ground with a skinned knee my resolve to be obedient is tested.

Yet still in the midst of all things, I do not ever seek to cause harm, or to hurt a potential non-believer's view of the Jesus I (a self proclaimed Christ follower) claim to imitate. Truth be told, I have tried many times over in circumstances less than desirable to be obedient and in some of them have been successful. Sadly, more often than not it ends with a parting of relationships and the realization that my gut instincts about them were to be trusted after all. It is this that makes me sad and infuriated in the same moment. Sad because of the relationships that could have been had obedience from God been adhered to and infuriated because I know that even though I'd rather write it off as a complete waste of my time, nothing happens by accident or chance and that there is something to be gained that will aid me in my life as I go on. C'est la vie or as Doris Day immortalized "Que Sera Sera".

In the meantime I will continue to live with my heart open to the teachings and leading from God so that hopefully I will never cause another to experience what I have personally.

Here's to all of you who stick through with me when I've fallen and have that bruised and scratched knee! Thanks for the band-aids and neosporin you've brought into my life. I'm able to heal and move on because of your help and love.

Downtime

Being ordered home for a month for recovery was about the last thing that my brain ever wanted to hear, and so I was determined to cut that time in half by being a good patient and doing everything just exactly as the doctor ordered. Almost everything anyhow. The get up and walk as much as possible part I truly had problems with mostly because of the severity of pain when I did get up to walk.
No matter, during my time at home (I did manage to make it two weeks instead of four) I had people who love me coming to visit. Some stayed for hours (You all know who you are), some stayed for just a few minutes, some dropped enough movies by to entertain me for days. Then the ones who couldn't stop by in person, sent flowers, cards, and food! Bless all of you who cooked too, because it was scrumptious and you kept it reasonably healthy. The Big Dawg was also thrilled to have food coming in.
During week number two, I decided to put the 'get up and walk' command to use as an excuse to get up and take some pictures of what was happening in my daily life. I saw tons of this face from Ellie.
She was so very concerned that 'mom' had something wrong and wanted so badly to be able to comfort me. Abi was content to lay by my feet and provide her support in that way, but poor Ellie nearly couldn't stand it. She tried to finagle herself to get in my lap any way she could, much to her disappointment when it was unsuccessful. By the middle and especially the end of week two, she could lay next to me with a pillow in between to ensure she wouldn't step on me. So from that point I got to see a lot of this pose. Obviously since the pillow is in the background, Big Dawg took this shot.                                      

 Then you've got all the flowers I got from everyone! They were so beautiful and cheery that it helped being stuck in more enjoyable. 

Somewhere during that same week I had the capability to toss an empty juice bottle to the floor for the girls to play with and the result was this. While this was a welcome change for them, neither of them understood exactly why I was home all day but couldn't really have anything to do with them, or play, or snuggle. This meant that at night, the Big Dawg had his work cut out for him trying to catch them up. Thankfully he absolutely loves them and didn't mind one bit sitting down doing nothing but hold them.
At the end of the second week, I was allowed to go outside again for the first time and thoroughly enjoyed a beautiful, sunny Spring day. I captured some more really nice shots of the flowers I got and will include them below.

Thanks again to everyone who stopped by, called, came to hang out, brought food, and prayed for my recovery. Without each and every one of you I know it would have been a much harder path to walk for myself and especially for the Big Dawg. (he would have starved)

Catching up

Obviously the last few months have been a little more than hectic and sadly blogging has been one of the many neglected aspects of my life. One would think that with time at home under doctor's orders I would have had plenty of time to write and tell everyone all the things going on in the world as I knew it. Alas, a good portion of narcotic pain relievers kept me from thinking too much about anything. Needless to say, there's quite a bit of catching up to do. Without further adieu: Some pics of the world of the hospital pre and post op. If you're interested in all the gory details about the stay that I had and the tornadoes that occurred that same day, I'll share what I can.

FIL hanging out with James in the waiting room

Big Dawg and another man from church each had their 'girls' in surgery

A few hours post surgery and post tornadoes I finally got to have broth to "eat"

Reduced to just drinking it

Breakfast in the hospital :)