Have you ever considered how foolish a people we are? Recently it's been more dominant in my mind than normal. There have been many things that could have brought this to reality, and who knows perhaps they all did in their own small ways.

For myself I have been forced to stop for a moment and reflect on our foolishness as well as our selfishness. We do not even stop for a mere moment in time to assess the people surrounding us. Or if we do, we do it so quickly and through smudge covered lenses that all we manage to see is the shell of the person or persons. Do we really ever stop and see the person? I can be accused of this just as quickly as I can make accusation. There are plenty of times in my history when I can say that I was guilty of simply looking at the outside of a person. We have been challenged at work the last few weeks to hand out one personal workers testament every week. This has caused me to notice all the people that on any other day I would have only passed by without a second glance. I find myself curious of their stories, I want to know for myself that I at least was obedient enough to leave a testament with that meal tip. Not simply to fulfill a challenge at work, but to have the knowledge that perhaps in some small way I have influenced them for the Kingdom.
How hard is this obedience thing? Not only in leaving a Bible or taking a moment to listen to the story of a stranger, but also in our lives with the people we are in closest proximity to daily. Are we not commanded by our God to love one another? Since we are, in fact, how is it possible then for any one of us to walk around as if we are immune to God's commands? Plain and simple--we aren't! Just as I said I have been guilty of doing this very thing. How many times have I just been feeling sorry for myself, or tired, or in a funk that I just plain didn't care about 'the least of these'?

This realization hits me hard and right where it hurts, because it needs to. But it has also caused my resolve to muster up again and be reminded that while I am human and will have days when I falter, there is no need for me to punish any others. As I've stated multiple times over, don't judge me and my life based on one interaction when you have no idea what path I'm currently trodding. Just the same, I have not, and never plan to judge you and yours. Believe me when I say that I have enough 'life' happening to me in my corner of the world that I certainly need not concern myself with how you are living and acting in yours. However, when one manages to cross the bridge and uninvited invade my own circumstances in a way that does not wish to help me better myself or uplift me when I'm on the ground with a skinned knee my resolve to be obedient is tested.

Yet still in the midst of all things, I do not ever seek to cause harm, or to hurt a potential non-believer's view of the Jesus I (a self proclaimed Christ follower) claim to imitate. Truth be told, I have tried many times over in circumstances less than desirable to be obedient and in some of them have been successful. Sadly, more often than not it ends with a parting of relationships and the realization that my gut instincts about them were to be trusted after all. It is this that makes me sad and infuriated in the same moment. Sad because of the relationships that could have been had obedience from God been adhered to and infuriated because I know that even though I'd rather write it off as a complete waste of my time, nothing happens by accident or chance and that there is something to be gained that will aid me in my life as I go on. C'est la vie or as Doris Day immortalized "Que Sera Sera".

In the meantime I will continue to live with my heart open to the teachings and leading from God so that hopefully I will never cause another to experience what I have personally.

Here's to all of you who stick through with me when I've fallen and have that bruised and scratched knee! Thanks for the band-aids and neosporin you've brought into my life. I'm able to heal and move on because of your help and love.