Strengths....and schizophrenia?

As some of you know and others have probably heard about, we've endured some changes around the workplace over the last few months. We are slowly progressing toward the 21st Century while not losing focus of our heritage and foundation, and this is a welcome thing. Back in the fall we did group sessions on a broad scale where we were allowed to (finally) voice our thoughts and concerns and ideas for where we spend the majority of our daily lives, and those were condensed a few times over to the things that kept being put on the table. We learned about melting icebergs, and accepting change without panic, but with some reservation, and overall it was a positive change. Then we did a survey to be completely honest about what we think of the ins and outs of our workplace and the executive staff. I think we shell shocked them when they realized that on some very key things, they have been failing miserably, and on some surface issues they seem to be succeeding. Because of all of this the atmosphere is one that is lighter, more open, and finally something that my brain can appreciate. (see here for reference to what my brain can appreciate) It is not an overnight process, and there have and will continue to be things that will get in the way or make us alter our plans at least a little, but the fact that there is any progress is great!
The latest new thing is a little deal by the Gallup folks called Strengths Finder 2.0. We were all given a book to read that also contained a specific code to each one that would correspond to our unique account on the accompanying website for us to take a 'test' to determine our top five strengths. Think about it, how often are we actually asked to determine our strengths? We are constantly surrounded with what is wrong with us, or how we aren't capable enough, and given interest inventories to take to help us learn where we might best succeed, but not given the tools we need in order to succeed, in anything. So a bunch of us have shared what our top fives are and they are all as unique as we are. If you would like to know more about the book, or the philosophy behind it, you can check them out at www.strengthsfinder.com or you can like them on Facebook. I took the test and when I initially saw the words for my top five I thought about them as they are defined by Webster and instantly decided I was schizophrenic. My top five read as: Harmony, Consistency, Activator, Individualization, and Relator. But upon further examination of the definitions according to the book, and the personalized print out that I received when I took the test, I realize somehow they implanted something into my brain and knew exactly my thoughts.
Case in point:
1. Harmony(according to the book) " You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You can't quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your peace. When others strike out in a direction, you will willingly, in the service of harmony, modify your own objectives to merge with theirs(as long as their basic values do not clash with yours).  In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show that you can." WOW!! Then there is the more personalized to me version "By nature, you naturally search for plans, ideas, and techniques that have proved to be successful. You are eager to share your practical insights with people who are at odds with one another. You help them move from a position of confrontation to one of general agreement. You continually look for ways to create calm and peace within groups of people and between individuals. Chances are good that you might realize you interact with certain people better when you maintain a healthy equilibrium- that is, an intellectual or emotional poise- in all areas of your life." and another WOW!! but we're only on the first one. Needless to say, I was already hooked into what the next four could possibly contain about myself, and so I read on hurriedly but with purpose.

2. Consistency (from the book) " Balance is important to you. You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same, no matter what their station in life, so you do not want to see the scales tipped too far in any one person's favor. It leads to a world where some people gain an unfair advantage because of their connections or their background or their greasing of the wheels. This is truly offensive to you. In direct contrast to this world of special favors, you believe that people function best in a consistent environment where the rules are clear and are applied to everyone equally." Anyone who knows me knows this is definitely true, it's one of the key reasons I hated college so much the first go around because too many people acted against this and expected the same from me. Consistency from my personalized perspective? Well! "Driven by your talents, you are quite content when you have performed to the best of your ability. You probably waste little, if any, time wishing you had put more time or effort into a task. You trust yourself to evaluate the quality and the quantity of your work. It's very likely that you perhaps invent rules or procedures for the sake of efficiency and accuracy when you must perform repetitious or mundane tasks. Chances are good that you may stay abreast of newsworthy events. Periodically you might collect updates from print of broadcast media or through one-on-one conversations with informed individuals. By balancing what you hear, read, or see, you might be able to sort fact from fiction. By nature, you sometimes prefer assignments or projects that demand strict adherence to standards." Yep, sounds about right, doesn't it?

3. Activator (according to the book) "'When can we start?' is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that 'there are still some things we don't know', but this doesn't seem to slow you. In your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, you believe that action is the best device for learning. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? You believe you can't. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you." Yeah, this is completely accurate of me. When we've made an informed decision, I say, let's go, we'll work out the details as we go. From the personalized take on it: " Because of your strengths, you might be the team member who influences your friends to start certain tasks and keep working until they are done. Sometimes you pressure your pals to reach goals by issuing orders, confronting slackers, or forcing poor performers to meet certain quality standards. By nature, you are naturally open and honest about who you are, what you have done, what you can do, and what you cannot do. Your straightforward explanations and stories help listeners to see you as you see yourself. You reveal your strengths and limitations. You are forthright and plainspoken. People generally seek your company and want to work with you. Chances are good that you quiet outspoken people with your quick and clever thinking. You rely on facts and reason to support your ideas. Many individuals choose to submit to whatever you tell them to do. Few dare to resist and ignore your orders. Frequently your mental agility overpowers people who traditionally like to take charge." Umm....guilty.

4. Individualization (from the book's take) "Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or 'types' because you don't want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. You instinctively observe each person's style, each person's motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships.This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person's need to be shown and another's desire to 'figure it out as I go'. Because you are a keen observer of other people's strengths, you can draw out the best in each person." Then the personalized version says, "Driven by your talents, you greatly enjoy the written word. You often are found pouring over a book to acquire simple facts or to deepen your understanding of a favorite topic. Because you are well-read, you routinely provide people with information they currently need. Instinctively, you eliminate chaos. You probably walk into out-of-control situations and quickly determine where materials or people need to be placed for the sake of efficiency. Individuals tend to rely on you to think of all the steps, pieces, and parts. It's very likely that you might tune into the needs or moods of certain individuals better than some people do. You occasionally know without trying what they are thinking or feeling as they deal with life's joys, sorrows, challenges, or monotony. You might show your partners how one action or a single comment caused something unexpected to occur. Experience might be one of your best teachers." Absolutely true!

5. Relator (from the book) "Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk--you might be taken advantage of--but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person." I think everyone knows that it takes a lot to get into my inner circle of friends, and once there, you are loved unconditionally, protected, and nurtured. But if you break that trust deeply, you're out and you'll be hard-pressed to get back in.  From the personalized take: " Sitting around and wasting time does not suit you at all. It's very likely that you thoughtfully select your friends. You avoid rushing into relationships. Once you trust and care about someone, the individual probably seeks your counsel. People whom you have befriended turn to you for guidance. Often you help them see a situation or problem from a different perspective because of something you discovered while surveying a book, article, letter or internet site. For you, reading is the key that opens the door to a world of fresh ideas. You collect them, never knowing when something you read will benefit someone else. Instinctively, you genuinely enjoy activities when just about everything makes sense. You naturally gravitate to tasks where facts, events, processes, or ideas are methodically outlined."  Yes, again!!

I could go on and on about this whole thing, but suffice it to say that I felt like someone had literally followed me around all my life and watched me while creating this list. I find it absolutely amazing how these five intertwine with one another and how fun it is to find out what other people's are and find out why we really work well together or why we clash on some things. It's also cool that even when people have the same ones, they are unique to each person based on how we answered the questions. (Believe me this is true, one friend and I have the exact same top two and they are very different) And so I've learned that I am in fact, not schizophrenic, and that my top five strengths define me more than even I can completely understand right now. I'm holding out to find out exactly what we are going to do with our new found knowledge, ever impatiently true to my Activator self, but trying my best to sit still in my anticipation.
If any of you have ever done the strengths finder test, what were your results??!

Just one of those kinda days(probably offensive to some, but really, its my blog so who cares?)

For whatever reason today I find myself just thinking about the ramblings that are here and the many that have never made it here. I question sometimes what the point is exactly of these musings. Maybe that's just me, but it's where I find myself.
I heard something very interesting over the weekend about how we women tend to view ourselves and how much of us is made up in that and we can't shake it because we are women. Made me think of all the people I know, women especially that spend so much time worrying about what the person next to them is thinking about them. When on Earth will we stop focusing so much on ourselves and realize that the odds of the person next to us even thinking about us (in a general public setting) is so close to zero that it's not worth even listing it?
I had the opportunity to speak to someone last night that I don't usually get to and they reminded me of one of the first memories they have of me. First of all I was thirteen when they met me, and God love them, they still like me. They remembered that my hair had been fairly long, not surprising since it kind of went with the territory of family heritage, but that I wanted to have it short. So I had it cut, extremely short, but fashionable for 1993. I loved it and then kept it short all the way through high school. The haircut isn't what matters here, it's that she told me that she was floored because I had said something about I want to have it short even though it had not been so since I was a child, and I just went out and did it without thinking for a second about what someone else might think about my haircut. She told me that was imprinted in her memory and that she wished that she could live completely unabashed of the people around her. Now that's fine when you're thirteen, but in the grown-up world we have to have some sort of tact about us and be mindful of the people around us.
Granted I have a small number of women in my life who love me even when I'm not tactful, and will call me out and tell me to settle down when I need it, and I will do the same for them. None of us is perfect and it amazes me how many people get uncomfortable at the thought of holding another person accountable for something as simple as tact. We'll not hesitate for a second to hold one another accountable if we know we are living a lifestyle outside the teachings of Jesus but claim to follow those teachings, e.g. drinking, smoking, gambling, womanizing, and so on, but we won't call someone out if they behave like a child in a situation, or slander or gossip or___________. Someone please enlighten me as to why this is so hard for people to do? I  don't have any trouble with it, even when I'm the one being called out, and I have people around me who are of the same mindset the majority of the time, but I observe people who watch us and are shell-shocked when we dare to tell a peer or friend that they are way off base. Isn't that just as much a part of Jesus' teachings as telling them not to commit adultery? Comments welcomed.

Perspective

n. Ability to view things in just proportion.
adj. in just relationship, with the important and the unimportant things in their proper places.
(according to Webster's universal English dictionary)

Of late my life seems to be one lesson in perspective after another. Just when I begin to feel as though I can't handle one more thing or one more person coming and telling me about something that's gone awry in their lives, I find myself sitting down again and reaching for the wisdom of Psalms or Proverbs to try and make some sense of it all.  Funny thing is, I have failed miserably to do so, well not to find wisdom in the scriptures per se, but rather in the carrying out of them.  I have had to stop and remind myself to take inventory of the last year and just look at all the things I and my friends have endured and realize that through all of them, God never failed me or them. Just when we felt like we couldn't bear another second, something happened that caused us to realize that indeed we could with God's help.
For myself personally, this year started off with a bang for the bad with some deep hurt carved into me by someone I love very much. This coupled with the already strained emotions of being stretched spiritually to a place I honestly did not expect to be before I was sixty made life difficult. One wound scabbed over while another was created. Still enduring the spiritual stretch I had to watch a dear, dear friend finally have ultimate healing from her disease but leave behind a spouse and child with a million questions and emotions about the entire process. To this day I miss her hugs and quirky faces and humor. (there is a blog post about her earlier this year) The middle and latter parts of the year have seen pains creep in from more deaths of loved ones and friends, to the family chaos created by one desperate soul. This year I have watched my family mourn the loss of my grandfather (also a blog post), endure the trials of moving my grandmother to assisted living and try and pick up the pieces left behind. I have seen my friends endure deaths of loved ones, major health problems or health scares, near death health for a few, talk of cancer more than a few times, marriages that are falling or have fallen apart, children turning away from God and any host of other catastrophes, but through it all, there is always a positive just like I mentioned in my last post.
In spite of the hurts and pains, there are celebrations. Celebrations of a spiritual battle complete, of new life in this world and in Christ, of health restored, of a bond created that can not be broken by man, of weddings, new jobs, engagements, home purchases, debt paid off, and on and on. I have seen some of the best and worst in people over the past year, and can look back with a true perspective(n) of life. Challenges will always come, but they will always go as well. So as someone asks me every day and I answer honestly, yesterday in my head was a mostly sunny/partly cloudy kind of day. Tomorrow? Who knows, but I accept it no matter because I know in the end, the sun will be shining.