Age is relative, right?

Even Webster is incapable of nailing down a specific example of ‘age’. Rather it covers all the possible bases within the English language; good on you Webster.

As somewhat frustrating as that is, it fits doesn’t it? How does one define age, truly? Sure we’ve all heard, and probably said things such as ‘age is just a number’, ‘act your age’, ‘you’re as young as you feel’, etc. All these things are true at varying times in our lives, but how exactly can you define age?

After some interesting encounters one day a few weeks ago this thought began rolling around 

my brain. That day I had interacted with people of nearly every decade of ‘age’, but the irony struck me in the evening. One of the conversations I had during the day was with a very precocious three year old that’s going on thirty. During our conversation she was asking about people’s ages and I asked her how old she thought was considered old. This is a deadly question I know, but I wanted to see what her thoughts were. She pulled a number that lives somewhere in the mid-twenties and said it was super old. I had to smile at that and tell her then that I was definitely ‘old’ to her; a point that she argued and I happily allowed it. The epiphanic moment happened that evening when I was conversing with someone in their mid-fifties. During the course of conversation after a comment I made they acknowledged its truth, but did so with emphasis on the wisdom of my youth. That got me really thinking.

In the course of less than twenty four hours, I’d been at both ends of the spectrum. I even said it to the mid-fifties person. To someone somewhere I’m supremely old and ancient, not quite irrelevant, but not quite applicable and yet to someone else I’m considered extremely young. It’s very much like seasonings isn’t it? You prepare a fresh seasoning for something and it’s so robust at the start but over time as it is stored and used the flavor begins to fade slightly. This is not true of the person I was talking with, but the irony was and still is not lost on me that no matter if you’re considered very young or very old the practicality of your usefulness wanes and people tend to take you for granted, or not give you the appropriate consideration of importance.

And so, as I find myself closer to the forties decade than not I still ask the question. How exactly can you define age?

Living examples?

I wrote this a few weeks ago and have toyed with if it should be posted or not. I still find it somewhat surreal that it happened but more than that I find it humbling. 

Today I find myself in a very unique place. Someone who had extremely limited knowledge of my life pre where I am now was and is taking every opportunity to witness to a co-worker. In their effort they mentioned me as an example that it is possible to be in a working environment that has every appearance of being hostile and remain a healthy Christ follower. While it made my heart swell that this person thought of me, I had to check some of the finer points for complete accuracy. I told this person that in my very core I could not abandon my faith just because my working environment made it challenging. So now they say their co-worker wants to hear my story about how that can be. 

Honestly, it's not something I have ever thought about; until today. Upon reflection my mind is teeming with examples of people throughout the Bible who did not abandon their faith. If anything their faith grew stronger. People like Moses and Aaron, Noah, Daniel, Nehemiah, Amos, Salmon, the remaining disciples after the deaths of Jesus and Judas, Paul, e.g. The list could go on. My point is that I realized that it has been when I'm in the most difficult places in life is where and when my faith stretches the most.

Recounting some of the experiences that lead to my realizing the growth, I would be lying if I said that I would enjoy doing them all again. And yet I think if I had the chance, I wouldn't change any of them. They may have cut me the deepest and taken the longest to heal, but the journey has been completely worth it. After all, life is all about the journeys we get to experience and people we get to meet on the way to our destination. Just so long as we keep our eyes on the destination and how we will bring others along with us. 

Sometimes you need a hug

How is it that one sentence can comfort and hurt so much simultaneously? Just the same, why does everyone either miss it completely when you're at your breaking point or freeze for lack of certainty how to respond when you're always the strong one?

I miss so terribly having people who get real with me around all the time. I miss the comraderie, the honesty...the love. They kept me honest. They made me better. They demanded the best in me to win over the bad. I need that in life. I don't want to remain stuck where I am, I want to do more, to be more. But at the same time I don't want to be discontent with where I am if I am here to grow and learn.

I find myself introspective today. What is it that keeps me where I am? A few solicited suggested are that my outspokenness, stubbornness and general sense of holding people as accountable as I expect to be are to blame. Maybe they are, but whether or not it's true I'm searching. I want to be the best me. Perhaps in my jaded view I convinced myself that I am doing a good job of picking my battles and style adjusting when in reality I'm failing miserably and no one told me. The saying goes when it rains it pours. 

So today I had my reminders or reality checks in spades. Today for many reasons was wonderful and it was hard for just as many. The one person who did notice can't do anything about it, not that they didn't offer. Just sometimes you need a hug.